When faced with a trauma like grief, animals respond according to their instinct,suppressing nothing. The animal's body shakes and trembles and they breathe deeply. If the animal feels like howling or growling, it just does so. Because of this instinct, the animal is able to return to its natural and graceful way of moving through life.

 

Our culture does not allow for true and complete grieving, particularly for the loss of an infant. Grief cannot be effectively processed in a "drive-thru, microwave, three-day-bereavement-leave" manner. The message we receive is clear: move on, don't dwell on the negative. We are forced to bottle up our true emotions as a means of making others comfortable when we are the ones needing comfort. We are congratulated for being stoic, but I assure you, stoicism in the face of loss is not graceful!

 

Sometimes, when we lose a loved one unexpectedly, our spiritual beliefs are challenged and even shattered. After my daughter died, I lost all faith in my spiritual belief system. My faith taught me the power of prayer and positive thought, and I believed with every fiber of my being that our daughter was going to make it. When she didn’t, my faith crumbled.  I couldn’t reconcile what had happened to me with my old belief system and I learned that once my relationship with God (as I understand him/her) was breached, my spirituality had to evolve or die. Spiritual Grief Counseling will guide you through your own process.